i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
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literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
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And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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