Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
