Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
His nipple licking is glorious
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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