i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Come see our sink grown plant.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
