I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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