My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You need Xanax blowdarts
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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