What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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