Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
