gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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