ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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