Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
