the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
