Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
