fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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