You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
