So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
