Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
