Kiss
Puke
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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