i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
