Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
