I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
