She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
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I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
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Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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