wrigley field is MILF paradise
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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