And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
