mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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