you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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