I could have mohawked her pubes.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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