Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
