my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
