I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
