Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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