Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
