this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
