I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
