is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
