Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
