party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
