I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
