Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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