there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
