we have officially lost it.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize