I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
