Plan B is the new Plan A
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
