I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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