I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
