I cannot find my penis.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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