yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
