I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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