so let's talk penis.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
