i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
