i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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