No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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