Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
