You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
