look no pants
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
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I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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