I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
