are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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