It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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