My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
