Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
