ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
