If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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