One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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