Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Welp...herpes.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
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I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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