Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
